Exercise and Dieting:

Money talks.  Chocolate sings.

Lord, if you won't make me thin, please make my friends fat!

I'm not into working out.  My philosophy -- no pain, no pain.

I don't want buns of steel.  I want buns of cinnamon.

Thou shalt not weigh more than the refrigerator.

I believe in reincarnation.  I'm coming back rich and skinny.

Whenever I think about exercise, I lie down until the thought goes away.

My buns of steel always break the chair.

If God had wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.

I'm not afraid of heights.  I'm afraid of widths.

I AM in shape.  Round is a shape...

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.